Let’s talk about love.
It’s the ultimate tonic for our sorrows, the cause of unimaginable heartache and has inspired the greatest works of art like the Taj Mahal, Shakespeare’s sonnets and Gustav Klimt’s “The Kiss.” We’ve also died for it.
It’s the most potent force in the universe and the only reason anything exists at all.
So why do we fight in the name of love? Why do we find it difficult to express our true feelings to another? Why do we hold back when the river runs deep? And why do we compromise and look for love in all the wrong places? Or feel like love’s a fleeting mirage in the passionate haze of infatuation?
Because love is a river, and the heart it’s source. If we don’t nourish ourselves with tenderness and care, honour and respect, we cannot truly let life in and allow it to flow with grace. Instead our hearts clench, as it naturally does when faced with the world’s anguish, and we remain in our ivory castles of apparent security. Whether we’re alone or surrounded by a crowd, the love of the heart is reduced to a septic trickle. Most of us simply shrug and say, “Hey, what can you do? That’s life,” and attempt to cope by controlling others, gaining status, constantly buying stuff or swirling in the fog of distraction. But there are an increasing number of us who know this is wrong, that there is more to us than that. And thus begins the reawakening of the heart, a life of joyous celebration, harmony and enriched relationships.
The dawn of unconditional love emerges once more.
I say, “once more” because as children, we were transparent in our communication, playful and innocent in our expression. We didn’t hold anything back because we were open-hearted. We’re actually born that way, until we learn to close and defend ourselves, until our karmic wounds sprout and we search for love outside ourselves. It’s a mystery that we are love itself, but having forgotten, we hope the other will complete us.
In today’s culture we call this romance and it’s part of life. We all love it; the way Cupid’s intoxicating arrow of desire inspires us to do things utterly illogical, demanding or out of our comfort zone. But in the moment, who cares? This is why courtship is a beautiful thing, tragic at times but beautiful and always courageous when expressed with love. Oh, the things we do!
Professing one’s love on top of a mountain, driving across the country for a date, spending a fortune on a lavish hotel room, sending love letters or wooing a potential partner over a candlelit dinner. (I’ve done all these, as I’m sure you have among many more.) It’s always a gamble.
But how do we, as conscious beings, express ourselves without the fear of getting hurt? How can we be authentic with another as we connect with our own hearts again? Can we leap into the unknown without losing ourselves?
Here’s some wholesome advice as inspired by Valentine’s Day:
- Create a healthy foundation of Self-Love via self-acceptance, communicating boundaries, being clear about one’s needs and wants, self-honour and respect. Only then can we meet someone who values this themselves and therefore you. Everyone benefits this way.
- Always be authentic and keep communicating truthfully.
- Embrace vulnerability. Believe it or not, it’s actually a strength. Assuming you feel safe with your partner, practice expressing your true feelings. You’ll be amazed what happens when you give the other permission to be themselves. If you’re not confident with your words, you can always show them.
Check out the 5 Love Languages:
- Words of Affirmation — Words have power, so mean what you say. Don’t worry if you can’t speak poetry, just try to express what you appreciate about the other without going into flattery.
- Acts of Service — Cooking a nice meal, fixing a leaky faucet, giving a massage. Whatever it is, do it without expectation. Do it for the sake of love.
- Receiving Gifts — It’s always nice to receive a gift but it’s almost never the thing in itself, it’s the thought behind it that counts. Make the extra effort to tailor it to your unique partner.
- Quality Time — It doesn’t matter how busy you are; make time. And when you’re together, be fully there.
- Physical Touch — This one speaks for itself. Almost everyone loves to be touched. The most important thing however, is to always touch with a loving intention.
- Give freedom and love unconditionally while respecting the relationship agreements.
- Discern the difference between infatuation and true love by being clear about your own feelings and always asking, “Does this serve me / them / us to open to Love more fully?”
- Above all, trust yourself and trust in love. Embodying this directly expresses your divinity.
Enjoy the journey and happy Valentine’s Day!
Toby (Love Ambassador @KARMA LOVE)